Mommy took me to Dr Berry yesterday....I still have lots of rattles in my lungs....it is weird to hear them talk about me...about when I go to Heaven. I know this is so hard for mommy. The doctor talks to her about so many things.... "quality of life".....in the end the results will be the same- I am going to Heaven. Its just trying to let go that is hard, for all of us- even me.
Mommy said that right now we are just going to enjoy our time....I have been enjoying my time all along mommy.
Mommy, I love you. You are mushy, squishy cute and I am so lucky to have you!
I feel love, I know love and I love my family so much. I had such a great adventure here but the time is coming (soon) that I must go to Heaven. I know it is hard to understand the why of it all...I dont even know if I know....but I know when I get to Heaven and talk to Jesus we will talk about it, then I will understand. What I do know is I have the most wonderful mommy, a daddy who loves me and a big brother who loves me and is tender with me always.
Its funny sometimes Teagan just wants to hold me. I like that. I will miss that. He talks to me in a high pitched tone and gives me so many kisses. We will be brothers forever.
I also know that I love my family.....all of them. They have loved me and cared for me with such honor, love and compassion.
I know this is hard for some of my family....I wish I knew the magic words to whisper in your ears. But what I can tell you is that I love you and trust in what you felt when you held me- when you held me it seemed like the world stopped, just for a moment, and we could peek at eternity. There was such love- pure love- in those moments. Trust in those, believe in those moments. They were a gift from Father to help you know He is there with us in this journey. I dont think Father wanted this to happen....its just sometimes, I think, the laws of this earth can not be broken...some things can not be fixed on this earth. But Father knew that it was one of the consequences of the laws that govern this earth- that is why He promised to fix it all. Father promises that He will fix that which was wrong in this world- all the injustices. But He can not fix them all now- not on this earth- but in His world He can. I know it is hard to understand but just trust me on this- trust yourself on this and dont linger with the whys for too long....some just cant be answered....you just got to stick with trust on this one.
I love you so much......................you will be forever in my heart too.
Bosty
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